The South American nation of Peru has been in the news recently, and not just because its economy is healthier and more stable than ours at the moment.
Peru is reportedly planning to sue Yale University to recover Incan relics spirited away to the States nearly a century ago. The last time an entire nation was this angry at a single university was back in 2004, when the same school produced a pair of lackluster candidates for U.S. president.
But we're not talking about just any relics here: it would have to be something pretty substantial for Peru to turn Yale into a four-letter word. These are artifacts first uncovered by legendary explorer Hiram Bingham, following his 1911 discovery of the Lost City of the Andes, Machu Picchu.
Even though Hiram Bingham only "discovered" the ruins after local farmers told him exactly where it was (and reportedly were strolling among the grounds when Bingham first arrived), it's still one of the all-time great adventure stories. Bingham and his team documented and photographed the vine-covered ruins where the Andes meet the Amazon, and the ensuing National Geographic feature thrilled the world. Back then, people weren't too jaded to appreciate the discovery of a spectacular lost city; today a similar find would be greeted with texts of OMG, whatever.
Along with those wonderful black and white photos, Bingham tapped into his inner graverobber: he shipped back crates full of ceramics, textiles and bones from the site. In digging up those items he may have forever ruined our chances of understanding Machu Picchu's true significance, but on the other hand... cool, check it out, bones.
All told, Bingham reportedly sent over 40,000 Peruvian relics to Yale (and no, the train that takes you from Cuzco to the Picchu-adjacent town of Aguas Calientes isn't one of them). In the process, though, he may have also done something even more damaging to the site: he instigated a tourist invasion that still hasn't subsided.
In fact, it was thanks in large part to the legend of Hiram Bingham that my wife and I ventured to Peru to see Machu Picchu for ourselves. Things have changed a bit since Bingham made his journey down there: we were given coca tea to help acclimatize to the altitude upon our arrival, while Bingham's team got to go directly to the source, chowing down on pure coca leaves (advantage: Bingham). He and his men were forced to sleep in the mosquito-infested jungle; my wife and I stayed in a luxury hotel converted from the former estate of one of Pizarro's captains (advantage: Guidry). It took Bingham months of frustrating missteps and erroneous hunches to finally discover the ruins; it took us all day on a train spent warding off hucksters trying to sell us fake alpaca (advantage: Bingham). Bingham hacked his way through the jungle to become the first American to set eyes on the cloud-shrouded wonder of the world; we filed past Peruvians selling knockoff Nike Brazilian soccer jerseys and then climbed onto a bus that took us to the park's front entrance (advantage: Bingham). The image of Bingham and his sponsors is being dragged through the mud by a lawsuit; mine isn't... that I know of (advantage: Guidry).
But even though I experienced Machu Picchu under very different circumstances than Bingham, I felt a kinship with him. Despite the site being cleared of most of its natural camouflage, it's not hard to imagine what it must have been like to first stumble upon it in 1911. And the setting hasn't changed a bit since then: jagged green mountaintops surround the city, and there is almost always some kind of cloud cover giving it a misty, exotic edge. The surrounding jungle is still the surrounding jungle. Then again, the five-star resort connected to the park entrance was probably just a three-star resort back then, so we have come a long way.
I hate to see Machu Picchu involved in a legal dispute, because it is one of the most purely awe-inspiring sights in the world. Of course, considering that legal battles have raged over other ancient wonders like Giza, the Great Wall, the Parthenon, Angkor Wat and Ed McMahon, maybe this puts M.P. in some elite company.
Here's how this case breaks down in strict legal terms (and for those of you who haven't attended law school, look out: it's about to get technical): Peru needs to quit being such babies.
I mean seriously, Peru, don't you realize that the sole purpose of your ancient treasures is to enrich museums in the developed world? That the world of antiquity only exists to further wealthy nations' feeling of imperial superiority? How else would the Louvre and the British Museum and the Met be so ass-kickingly stupendous?
Aren't you familiar with the landmark international legal standard "Finders Keepers"? After all, if they were that important to you, why did you let them get buried under centuries' worth of soil and vines? And no, creating a stable society and focusing on feeding your people instead of preserving ancient stonework aren't valid excuses. I mean, what's next? Building hospitals and schools instead of galleries? Silly Peruvians and your misplaced priorities. You deserve whatever legal smackdown that Ivy League school is about to bring down upon you.
Besides, this could open up a legal Pandora's Box if Peru wins. Numerous other nations will want to jump on the bandwagon to recklessly protect their ancient heritage. How tragic would it be if the Elgin Marbles returned to Greece, after the British Museum built that nice big white room for them and everything?
Trust me, if Peru wins all hell will break loose. Look for Haiti to hop aboard this bandwagon and sue Harvard University so that ethnobotanist Wade Davis will return all those psychotropic, zombie-instigating drugs he took from the island. We've got enough zombie-related chaos plaguing the world already.
So come on, Peru, quit picking on innocent, resource-less Yale. You've already got those amazing ruins in those mist-shrouded jungle mountains: now you want your stuff back, too? Just be happy with what you got, and be happy that those Spanish conquistadors somehow skipped over it the first time around. There's no reason to get greedy.
